smallbeasts

It's well documented that babies like white noise, and we've found that Jessica will fall asleep instantly if we turn on a hairdryer. What we're lacking is a really good theory. Some people claim that the sound reminds babies of the womb, but if wombs sounded as loud as a hairdryer, surely we could hear them from the outside. I think it's time this problem was handed over to evolutionary psychology, because as we know, evolutionary psychology can explain all human behaviour.

My initial suggestion: the babies are not content, instead they are keeping quiet so they don't attract the attention of the saber-toothed tiger they can hear breathing nearby.  Does anybody have a better idea?

Jessica
Originally uploaded by NotInventedHere.

Jessica was born this morning at 11:14. She weighs 6lb 14oz, and is very hairy. Jessica and her mother are both doing well.

brixtonbrood's rules of child naming are very relevant to us at the moment.  We agree with the rules, and we've got extra rules of our own:

1. The name is for a girl.
2. The name must not begin with a vowel.
3. The name must not contain the letter 'L' in the first syllable.
4. The name must not be the name of any relative.

To comply with the original rule two, the name should be English with no more than 12.5% Irish content.
Any suggestions? We've only got twelve weeks left, and we're out of ideas.

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Rotten Apple Tree
Originally uploaded by NotInventedHere.

Does anybody have any idea what killed this apple tree? It had an aphid problem this year, but it did produce a couple of small apples. Last night it snapped in two in the wind, and I found the trunk was completely rotten.

Announcement
Originally uploaded by NotInventedHere.

Due 11th April 2008.

All the kids are playing Club Penguin. It's much more wholesome than Neopets or Runescape, and it charges pocket money prices. On her first day, Ellie got us to help her play Connect Four against the other children. Our opponents made such simple mistakes that I began to worry about the ethics of the situation. On her second day, Ellie is pretending to be a boy in chat.

My main disappointment is that online etiquette isn't covered in PSHE for Key Stage 2. We're going to have to teach this ourselves.

I bought a cheap SD card from Amazon to back up saves on the Wii. This morning, I received the following:

As someone who has made a recent purchase from Amazon.co.uk, we thought you might like to know about all the accessories available to get the most out of your purchase. Check out these accessories to make the most of your new items.

Your purchase: Kingston Technology 1GB Elite Pro Secure Digital (SD) Card 50x

The recommended accessories for a 1GB SD card include a 2GB SD card, and another 1GB SD card.

About This Much...
Originally uploaded by NotInventedHere.

It took me ages to get around to these, but I've now scanned my photos from Archie and Ellen's wedding. My tip - don't get Snappy Snaps to process Neopan 1600 - they can't make prints from negatives with such high contrast.

This morning there was a bottle of white wine left in our porch, thoroughly chilled. Ellie is convinced that it was left by a mysterious poisoner, but I prefer to believe that the wine fairy has been to visit.

Those who don't normally watch Dragons' Den might want to make an exception for next week's episode, which features Ling Valentine and her nuclear missile truck.

We've decided to hold our party at New Year. You can probably guess most of the details - we'll provide food, please bring booze. Crash space here is mostly pre-booked; hopefully the other Oxford locals can help.

Child feeding will commence at 17:30. Those with a nervous disposition or weak stomach may wish to arrive later. Small children should be in bed by 21:00, though the larger one no doubt will attempt to stay awake until midnight.

We'll try to invite people who don't read Livejournal, but please help us out by passing this on to any refuseniks you know.

RSVP if you like to plan that far in advance. If not, you're welcome to turn up on the night.

It's not until one of you is standing on a small gravel bank in the middle of the stream that you realise you never actually practised throwing and catching the toddler to each other.

Ellie has two hamsters, which I call Fatty and Bitey. Ellie calls them Spotty and Dotty, buy my names are more accurate. On Tuesday, Bitey managed to push open the feeding hatch of the cage and escape. Fatty was still inside; the hole was too small for her, and besides, Fatty never wanted to escape. Fatty likes to eat lettuce and seeds, which are found inside the cage. Bitey likes to eat human flesh, which is found outside the cage.

There was no sign of a stray hamster anywhere in the room, and there were plenty of ways to get under the floor. I made a token effort of building a humane hamster trap, but I was secretly glad that cleaning the hamster cage was going to hurt a lot less.

This morning I went downstairs to make coffee and found that Chester had a present for me. Bitey had traveled a long way under the floorboards, but made a mistake that could have proved fatal; she emerged in the kitchen, where the only hole opens next to Chester's feeding bowl.

I grabbed Chester as he ran for the catflap, forced his jaws open, and extracted a very damp hamster. As the hamster still has the correct number of limbs, Ellie has dodged a common childhood trauma. Bitey has recovered from her ordeal, and is attempting to escape again.

I'm back from a week on a narrowboat, the only piece of heavy machinery you are allowed to operate with a drink in your hand. I have learned that zander are afraid of swimming through tunnels, and that the sour, joyless faces of competitive anglers take all the fun out of boating. I have learned that nobody inside the boat can hear you over the engine, and that if you slow the engine to lower the noise, the crosswind will blow you into the bank. I have learned many ways to sink a narrowboat, and avoided all of them.

Sadly we got back to discover that ITV3 had changed the time of the Dorothy L. Sayers Mysteries, so our Freeview box had recorded something completely different. Does anybody have episode 2 of "Have His Carcase"?

If we were to have some sort of combined barbeque and scalextric race event, when would be a good time to have it?

Rat
Originally uploaded by NotInventedHere.

Yesterday the vet told me that Chester was in fine condition for his age. This afternoon he brought me a live rat, just to demonstrate the point.

If you've not already seen it on Memepool, I recommend The Thing in the Crib.

Like TV? Like social software? Like clever Javascript tricks? Why not try mighTyV! They're still so new that they changed their iCal export this morning just so I could use it with the Evolution calendar on Linux.

I suspect that some of you are exactly the target audience for this. I'm not sure that I am, because I don't watch much TV.

I'll be absent from the Late Risers' Breakfast Club this week, due to a school play. The play is about Kenya, and from Ellie's description it sounds like Come to Kenya from the perspective of the Zebra. I'm looking forward to next term's production of Magical Trevor.