smallbeasts

White Noise

2008-05-01T12:11:07Z

It's well documented that babies like white noise, and we've found that Jessica will fall asleep instantly if we turn on a hairdryer. What we're lacking is a really good theory. Some people claim that the sound reminds babies of the womb, but if wombs sounded as loud as a hairdryer, surely we could hear them from the outside. I think it's time this problem was handed over to evolutionary psychology, because as we know, evolutionary psychology can explain all human behaviour.

My initial suggestion: the babies are not content, instead they are keeping quiet so they don't attract the attention of the saber-toothed tiger they can hear breathing nearby. Does anybody have a better idea?

Jessica

2008-04-02T14:39:38Z

Jessica
Originally uploaded by NotInventedHere.

Jessica was born this morning at 11:14. She weighs 6lb 14oz, and is very hairy. Jessica and her mother are both doing well.

Baby Names

2008-01-24T19:44:38Z

brixtonbrood's rules of child naming are very relevant to us at the moment. We agree with the rules, and we've got extra rules of our own:

The name is for a girl.
The name must not begin with a vowel.
The name must not contain the letter 'L' in the first syllable.
The name must not be the name of any relative.

To comply with the original rule two, the name should be English with no more than 12.5% Irish content.
Any suggestions? We've only got twelve weeks left, and we're out of ideas.

Bookworm Adventures

2007-12-02T11:38:15Z

I heartily recommend Bookworm Adventures to anyone who feels that RPGs lack spelling mini-games, or that Scrabble lacks hit-points, power-ups, and cheesy slow motion take-downs. I was a little disappointed that the language filter wouldn't allow whores, but would allow harlots. To compensate, pwned is in the dictionary.

(The first hour of play is free. It's priced in dollars on Steam, which makes it cheaper).

Gardening Advice

2007-10-17T10:15:55Z

Rotten Apple Tree
Originally uploaded by NotInventedHere.

Does anybody have any idea what killed this apple tree? It had an aphid problem this year, but it did produce a couple of small apples. Last night it snapped in two in the wind, and I found the trunk was completely rotten.

It's happening again

2007-10-01T18:48:56Z

Announcement
Originally uploaded by NotInventedHere.

Due 11th April 2008.

Ellie's First MMO

2007-04-29T08:30:43Z

All the kids are playing Club Penguin. It's much more wholesome than Neopets or Runescape, and it charges pocket money prices. On her first day, Ellie got us to help her play Connect Four against the other children. Our opponents made such simple mistakes that I began to worry about the ethics of the situation. On her second day, Ellie is pretending to be a boy in chat.

My main disappointment is that online etiquette isn't covered in PSHE for Key Stage 2. We're going to have to teach this ourselves.

Accessorise!

2007-04-03T10:38:47Z

I bought a cheap SD card from Amazon to back up saves on the Wii. This morning, I received the following:

As someone who has made a recent purchase from Amazon.co.uk, we thought you might like to know about all the accessories available to get the most out of your purchase. Check out these accessories to make the most of your new items.

Your purchase: Kingston Technology 1GB Elite Pro Secure Digital (SD) Card 50x

The recommended accessories for a 1GB SD card include a 2GB SD card, and another 1GB SD card.

Sorry for the delay

2007-02-13T21:34:13Z

About This Much...
Originally uploaded by NotInventedHere.

It took me ages to get around to these, but I've now scanned my photos from Archie and Ellen's wedding. My tip - don't get Snappy Snaps to process Neopan 1600 - they can't make prints from negatives with such high contrast.

The Wine Fairy

2007-02-13T08:11:24Z

This morning there was a bottle of white wine left in our porch, thoroughly chilled. Ellie is convinced that it was left by a mysterious poisoner, but I prefer to believe that the wine fairy has been to visit.

Dragons' Den

2007-02-08T16:14:29Z

Those who don't normally watch Dragons' Den might want to make an exception for next week's episode, which features Ling Valentine and her nuclear missile truck.

New Year Party

2006-11-26T22:15:45Z

We've decided to hold our party at New Year. You can probably guess most of the details - we'll provide food, please bring booze. Crash space here is mostly pre-booked; hopefully the other Oxford locals can help.

Child feeding will commence at 17:30. Those with a nervous disposition or weak stomach may wish to arrive later. Small children should be in bed by 21:00, though the larger one no doubt will attempt to stay awake until midnight.

We'll try to invite people who don't read Livejournal, but please help us out by passing this on to any refuseniks you know.

RSVP if you like to plan that far in advance. If not, you're welcome to turn up on the night.

Visiting the New Forest

2006-11-11T21:53:47Z

It's not until one of you is standing on a small gravel bank in the middle of the stream that you realise you never actually practised throwing and catching the toddler to each other.

The return of Bitey

2006-09-09T21:57:28Z

Ellie has two hamsters, which I call Fatty and Bitey. Ellie calls them Spotty and Dotty, buy my names are more accurate. On Tuesday, Bitey managed to push open the feeding hatch of the cage and escape. Fatty was still inside; the hole was too small for her, and besides, Fatty never wanted to escape. Fatty likes to eat lettuce and seeds, which are found inside the cage. Bitey likes to eat human flesh, which is found outside the cage.

There was no sign of a stray hamster anywhere in the room, and there were plenty of ways to get under the floor. I made a token effort of building a humane hamster trap, but I was secretly glad that cleaning the hamster cage was going to hurt a lot less.

This morning I went downstairs to make coffee and found that Chester had a present for me. Bitey had traveled a long way under the floorboards, but made a mistake that could have proved fatal; she emerged in the kitchen, where the only hole opens next to Chester's feeding bowl.

I grabbed Chester as he ran for the catflap, forced his jaws open, and extracted a very damp hamster. As the hamster still has the correct number of limbs, Ellie has dodged a common childhood trauma. Bitey has recovered from her ordeal, and is attempting to escape again.

Boating

2006-09-04T17:20:56Z

I'm back from a week on a narrowboat, the only piece of heavy machinery you are allowed to operate with a drink in your hand. I have learned that zander are afraid of swimming through tunnels, and that the sour, joyless faces of competitive anglers take all the fun out of boating. I have learned that nobody inside the boat can hear you over the engine, and that if you slow the engine to lower the noise, the crosswind will blow you into the bank. I have learned many ways to sink a narrowboat, and avoided all of them.

Sadly we got back to discover that ITV3 had changed the time of the Dorothy L. Sayers Mysteries, so our Freeview box had recorded something completely different. Does anybody have episode 2 of "Have His Carcase"?

Hypothetical Party

2006-06-03T15:26:58Z

If we were to have some sort of combined barbeque and scalextric race event, when would be a good time to have it?

Rat

2006-06-02T16:28:21Z

Rat
Originally uploaded by NotInventedHere.

Yesterday the vet told me that Chester was in fine condition for his age. This afternoon he brought me a live rat, just to demonstrate the point.

For those with children

2006-04-12T08:11:21Z

If you've not already seen it on Memepool, I recommend The Thing in the Crib.

For those who like TV

2006-04-04T12:23:36Z

Like TV? Like social software? Like clever Javascript tricks? Why not try mighTyV! They're still so new that they changed their iCal export this morning just so I could use it with the Evolution calendar on Linux.

I suspect that some of you are exactly the target audience for this. I'm not sure that I am, because I don't watch much TV.

Kenya

2006-03-30T08:08:50Z

I'll be absent from the Late Risers' Breakfast Club this week, due to a school play. The play is about Kenya, and from Ellie's description it sounds like Come to Kenya from the perspective of the Zebra. I'm looking forward to next term's production of Magical Trevor.

Mini! (By Jo)

2006-03-11T21:56:12Z

Since I will have to drive to my new job we have been looking at buying a new car. It didn't have to be very big, as we will keep the Mondeo for holidays and trips to Ikea etc. Although we both fell in love with the Mini when we went to test drive one last weekend, we weren't sure if we could really justify the price tag. So today we looked at "superminis". The Mazda dealer forced us to make a decision with a good "today-only" offer, and so we decided to return to the Mini dealer for one last look. And then we saw her! Just in, a British racing green 2003 Mini One, with an electric sunroof. And within our budget! We took her for her test drive, and even Alice expressed her approval with excited squeals of "car, car", as her Daddy did 70 down a country lane (she had fallen asleep in the Mazda). So of course we bought her. She won't be able to come and live with us for another couple of weeks (she needs a slight repair to a small scratch on her bodywork, and of course a full service), but she's ours. The only problem now is how am I going to stop Adrian borrowing my car?

Books for a 7 year old

2006-02-27T18:50:35Z

I'm looking for suggestions for books to read aloud to Ellie. We've almost finished the entire Narnia series, and we need something to come next. The problem is that I can only remember books for slightly older children, such as The Owl Service and The Dark is Rising. To make it even harder, while Ellie does like fantasy, she has no tolerance for framing devices or wandering narratives.

I'm sure some good children's books happened during the twenty years when I wasn't paying attention, but I don't know where to start.

Gmail

2006-02-11T10:40:17Z

Does anybody have a Gmail invite that Jo could use? Her university mail account expires soon.

Happy Birthday Alice (by Jo)

2006-02-02T20:12:35Z

It's Alice's first birthday tomorrow, and she has just received her first report card from nursery. Here are some excerpts.

On food (Alice's favourite subject)-

"Alice makes her needs very clear...Alice shows she is ready for food at mealtimes by crawling over to the seating area while the staff are setting out the bibs and trays...Alice has developed the skill of climbing into her own chair at mealtimes...Alice will feed herself finger foods. She has attempted to use the spoon, but does like to use her hands as it makes things easier once she has reached the bottom of the bowl"

On games -

"Alice enjoys games with other children, particularly the "laughing game". This is where one child laughs and the next child copies. This game is very infectious and soon the whole room is laughing including the staff"

She also enjoys -

"Messy activities such gloop and large floor paintings...smearing, swishing and crawling through the paint"
"saying dadada"

Alice is -

"very very vocal and seems to have a lot to say for herself"
"a much loved character and is extremely affectionate"

Happy birthday Alice - may all your report cards be this good.

The War on Stuff

2006-01-13T19:07:13Z

Having moved all my stuff twice in recent months I have decided that I would like to swap some of my stuff for empty space. Would anybody out there like custody of a large run of Interzone and Fortean Times magazines? They go some way back into the 1990s.